Written by Jafree Ozwald and Margot Zaher
“If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive.” ~Mother Theresa
One of the most powerful things you can do is master the art of forgiveness. If you are carrying a grudge against anybody, whether it’s big or small, you’re clinging to a heavy shield around your heart that’s weighing you down and negatively impacting you on many levels. By continuing to be angry or upset with somebody else because they have wronged you, only hurts you in the long run. Like attracts like, and when we hold onto feelings how someone has hurt us, we’re anchoring our energy in the past and attracting another victim-like scenario in the future.
If we don’t learn how to forgive and let go of the pain that’s been done, it doesn’t allow us to be fully open, available, alive, and present to this divine moment. Our being becomes tight, protected and contracted when we cannot forgive people. The quicker we can learn to let go, the less time we spend in pain and suffering. Holding onto a grudge from the past with anyone only hinders our ability to become a positive open loving being, who is manifesting the life of our dreams.
The word “forgiveness” is derived from the word to “give”. Forgiveness is a gift of freedom and healing. When you give it to another person you actually are giving this to yourself. The act of forgiving another may not free the other person if they do not accept it, yet it will definitely liberate your energy. Even if the other person holds onto the past grudge all the way to their grave, you can still forgive them for not knowing how. Your job is simply to let the past go and trust that everything is always in perfect divine order. The Universe never makes mistakes…ever.
Every act of harm unleashed is pure stimulation for our soul’s awakening. The pain makes us wake up, recalibrate our life and adjust our sails towards a bigger freedom. The judgments we tend to inflict upon ourselves force us to love ourselves even deeper. The wound inside us creates a womb where new life can be formed. We must then choose to give birth to something inside us that is more loving, healing and creative. We must also forgive ourselves for anything that is less than love. When we do forgive ourselves, we instantly feel a great lightness that opens our chest and spreads all throughout our body. It is a powerful path to healing that is always available to choose in every moment of our lives.
Every day we have the option to let go of our pride and let in the love, or hold on tighter and be right about something unfair or wrong. If you want to become a more sensitive humble and deeply loving human being, you must learn the response of forgiveness and compassion. Softening our ego is perhaps the most empowering and enlightening action we can do as it puts us directly in contact with our soul. If you are ready to experience the amazing power of forgiveness today, simply follow these 3 basic forgiveness steps:
1. Recognize your Attachment to your Story – When you hold onto a grudge, you are actually holding onto the story about what happened along with heavy feelings attached to your story. When you fully feel those heavy feelings that arise when you think about your story, you then can move through them and underneath them. Be curious about what is there underneath your feelings, as it will be something you never thought of before. Notice how you played your part in the drama and take responsibility for the role you stepped into. When you understand what the “payoff” of benefit you received by playing this role, no matter how horrible it was, you can then let go of the pattern completely.
2. Release those Repressed Feelings – When someone mistreats or hurts us, we may either express this pain or repress it. If you were taught to repress your feelings, put on a brave face, and go on with our life, you’ll have many heavy feelings inside you rotting away at your core. All repressed feelings fester deep inside of us, and cause us to continue to carry a burden about life, relationships, people and the world. The first step in forgiving is letting go of these heavy feelings, allowing them to turn into lighter feelings. There are many techniques that can help you release pent up emotions from the past. One simple way you can do this on your own is emotional release journaling. Just write about the past event without censoring it. Write from your most emotional place and keep writing until you have emptied everything out. Do not read it once you have finished. Wait a few days or weeks before you read it. You can burn what you have journaled and proclaim out-loud “I let this go”. If your repressed emotions are very strong or feel overwhelming, it may be best to get the support of a trained professional to help you let them go.
3. Continuously Choose Forgiveness – In every moment, you have the opportunity to choose forgiveness. Once you release that holding onto the past only harms you, you can consciously choose to let it go instead of returning to resentment. Choosing forgiveness is a constant process. This means you will always choose to feel feelings of lightness, freedom and healing from the past event. Once you have decided to forgive someone, visualize the person is in front of you, and say it out loud to them, “I forgive you completely for what happened. I love you and thank you for the lesson. Please forgive me for what I’ve done.” Notice how it feels just reading this proclamation in your body. By stating this message out loud you create an instant energetic shift in your body. The person can be on the phone, in the room or simply there in your mind. If you do this in your mind, the secret is that it must FEEL real to you. You will be amazed out how this declaration starts opening up your entire world in ways you never dreamed were possible. You’ll soon see how it sparks the manifestation of more positive and desired experiences into your life.